My Favorite Things

At first glance, people tend to think that I am this really complicated person who is meticulous, analytical, and strategic...well in some instances I am; however, most times I am anything but that.

I am simply a happily married mother of 2, who loves her family and that's pretty much it.  I spend most of my time with my husband, my kids, and my parents.  I don't have many friends which isn't really a bad thing in my opinion.  I always laugh when I hear people say they have "so many friends."  I have learned that most people don't have as many friends as they'd like to think.

I am a realist.  I have about 3 really good friends.  I mean these are people who I trust and I know that if I call them, they will come.  Ok, on second thought...make that 2 really good friends.  Yeah, I'm in a sorority and I know a lot of people, but very few qualify for the title of friend.  I've learned that when you don't expect a lot from people; they won't let you down.

My husband is my very best friend.  I know that most people say that because it sounds good; but no, he really is.  I love everything about him...I mean everything.  I love the little mole beside his nose.  I love his thick eyebrows and long eyelashes; especially the bottom lashes. I love his strong arms and broad chest.  I love his pretty feet.  To be honest, his feet are much prettier than mine!  He has a kind, gentle spirit.  He is honest.  He treats me like the black queen that I am!  My heart still flutters when he walks into the room.  He is heaven sent and I thank God for him everyday.  He makes me a better person.

I love to sing and I recently started back writing songs; thanks to my husband.  He encourages me to live my dreams and supports me fully.  He even bought me a Macbook Pro for my birthday so I can use it to work on my music.  I am thankful that I have a job, but I also know that God has greater things in store for me and my family.  I am seeking God for guidance, and I know that he will lead us in the right direction.  Sometimes I get impatient and try to figure things out myself without waiting on God, and that's when I mess up.  I want to produce music and start my own media company.    

I love to eat good food with my family.  I love to laugh.  I love to write.  I love to dance.  I love to be around people who love me and won't judge me for just being...me.

Natural Beauty is...being unafraid to dream and not feeling guilty about it.      

Look Ma....No Meat!!!

That's right!  It's official!  I have been meatless since December 15th, 2010 and I feel great!  No really,  I feel like a million bucks!  I turned 40 on January 17th and I was determined for the next 40 years to be better than these last 40.

I mean don't get me wrong, I have a great life but I 'm still trying to get it right.  Many things have happened this past year.  Well, I got my hair locked.  Not dreadlocks, but sisterlocks...and no, they are not the same.  That's one less thing I have to worry about because I wake up and my hair is done.  I shower, dress, and roll out in less than 45 minutes each morning.  I used to wake up at 6:00am and spend 30 minutes doing my hair, so now I sleep that extra 30 minutes.  I guess I could get up and workout, but that would be to much like right.

Anywho, after the hair thing, I really began to think about changing many of the things that cause me to stress daily like my diet for example.  I, like most women I know, have been struggling with my weight for many years now.  People always say, "Girl, what are you trying to do?"  My response is always the same, "I am trying to be comfortable in my own skin...not yours."  Aren't I the judge of whether I am satisfied with how I look or not?  My goal has always been to be in single digits and right now I am, but I absolutely refuse to buy any clothes larger than a size 10...period.  That may be vain, but it is what it is.

I have pushed myself to try new foods. Like asparagus, mushrooms, and even tofu!  I have even been drinking wheatgrass each morning before I go to work.  It smells much stronger than it tastes.  I want to live a long and healthy life and most importantly, set good examples for my children.  I've been working out more and eating a lot less junk food.  I'm not ready to give up cookies yet, but I am eating more fruit.  I started taking my vitamins everyday like I am supposed to and I feel grrrreat!

Stir Fried Tofu...Yummy!

This is my latest creation...Stir Fried Tofu!  It was really easy to make and it was absolutely delicious.  If my 13-year-old son liked it, trust me, it was good.  He said the tofu tasted like chicken.  I am making better choices for him as well.  I didn't take a picture of the 1st tofu dish I made and my husband loved it so much, he took it for lunch the next day!  My daughter is 18 and a freshman in college, so I don't have much control over what she eats, but we talk frequently and I tell her to try to eat more fruits and veggies and of course she says, "Yes, Ma'am."  I will be able to tell when she comes home if she has been listening to me or not...her hips and thighs won't lie.

My mom has been buying the veggie products too and so far, so good.  She's 65 and cooks everyday and eats well.  She takes care of my dad and everybody else.  I want to be healthy so I can be around to help take of her for a change.  I told my 71-year-old dad that I was going to make him some tofu and he said, "What the hell is tofu?"  I just laughed and he later said that he would try the "Kung Fu" if I said it was good.  At least he got the "fu" part right!

Natural Beauty is...trying new things and cherishing the old!

Feelin Good About Myself

I like many black women out there, have struggled to feel good about who I am.  It took me 4 decades to realize that the people who really love and care about me will and that I can't worry about the rest.

I have found it extremely difficult to find and to keep good friends, so basically I stopped trying.  I decided that I don't need people to make me feel good because most people, women especially, are pretentious, petty, insecure beings.  I joined a sorority in college hoping to make lasting bonds to repair and replace the damaged relationships I had managed to build along the way, but that didn't work either.  I love my sorority, but the drama...I can do without!  After undergrad, I began my career and I had a co-worker ask me "Why do you always dress up?  Who are your trying to impress?"  I had another tell me, "You are doing too much and it is too hard to keep up with you!"  I wish I were making this up, but it is the absolute truth.  I didn't realize that I was in a competition against the other black women around me.  Evidently, I'm winning!  I don't have much, but I do care about the way I present myself when I come of out  my house.  Is something wrong with that?  Don't be mad at me because you look a mess.          

People tend to get uncomfortable around me because I have a habit of saying how I feel.  People don't like it when you are confident enough to speak your mind.  "The squeaky wheel gets the oil."  That's what my daddy taught me and that basically means to speak up for oneself.

I would agree that I am opinionated, but am I suppose to sit quietly in disagreement to make other people comfortable?  I just don't really care if you are afraid to speak your mind, but I will tactfully speak mine.  Some people are offended by any and everything.  Truth is, most people I work with are upset and unhappy and complain about everything...after the meeting of course!  They sit on mute with quiet discontentment and then gripe for 45 minutes when nobody cares to listen.

I teach my kids to speak up for themselves and do not agree with something that you don't understand or don't feel is right!  Most people just don't have the guts to say how they really feel and they get uncomfortable because I do.  That's your problem, don't try to make it mine.

There are many things about me that I am working on, so I don't find the time to worry about what others do or what they have...honestly, I just don't care that much.  When I leave home in the morning, I look in the mirror and if I am okay with what I see...it doesn't really matter if other people have a problem with it.  I have learned to love myself for who I am, and work to change the things that I can.

Natural Beauty is...being true to who you are in spite of those around you.