Feelin Good About Myself

I like many black women out there, have struggled to feel good about who I am.  It took me 4 decades to realize that the people who really love and care about me will and that I can't worry about the rest.

I have found it extremely difficult to find and to keep good friends, so basically I stopped trying.  I decided that I don't need people to make me feel good because most people, women especially, are pretentious, petty, insecure beings.  I joined a sorority in college hoping to make lasting bonds to repair and replace the damaged relationships I had managed to build along the way, but that didn't work either.  I love my sorority, but the drama...I can do without!  After undergrad, I began my career and I had a co-worker ask me "Why do you always dress up?  Who are your trying to impress?"  I had another tell me, "You are doing too much and it is too hard to keep up with you!"  I wish I were making this up, but it is the absolute truth.  I didn't realize that I was in a competition against the other black women around me.  Evidently, I'm winning!  I don't have much, but I do care about the way I present myself when I come of out  my house.  Is something wrong with that?  Don't be mad at me because you look a mess.          

People tend to get uncomfortable around me because I have a habit of saying how I feel.  People don't like it when you are confident enough to speak your mind.  "The squeaky wheel gets the oil."  That's what my daddy taught me and that basically means to speak up for oneself.

I would agree that I am opinionated, but am I suppose to sit quietly in disagreement to make other people comfortable?  I just don't really care if you are afraid to speak your mind, but I will tactfully speak mine.  Some people are offended by any and everything.  Truth is, most people I work with are upset and unhappy and complain about everything...after the meeting of course!  They sit on mute with quiet discontentment and then gripe for 45 minutes when nobody cares to listen.

I teach my kids to speak up for themselves and do not agree with something that you don't understand or don't feel is right!  Most people just don't have the guts to say how they really feel and they get uncomfortable because I do.  That's your problem, don't try to make it mine.

There are many things about me that I am working on, so I don't find the time to worry about what others do or what they have...honestly, I just don't care that much.  When I leave home in the morning, I look in the mirror and if I am okay with what I see...it doesn't really matter if other people have a problem with it.  I have learned to love myself for who I am, and work to change the things that I can.

Natural Beauty is...being true to who you are in spite of those around you.